At times I look in the mirror and get turn on

I know it’s sound pure narcissistic

But it’s something about a woman’s physical form

I love the roundness of her titties

Something about a warm wet kitty

For some time now I knew I was drawn to it

Yearning to give her a good lick

Yet, I still love the thrust of a mighty sword

I’m dead wrong is what I hear

Can’t help it, I like my counterparts hard

But the softness from my peers

Copyright © 2000


(orginally posted 3/5/06)



If I can just gain strength…but I’m so tired…

Yearning for masculine muscular arms in which to retire…

Stopping to rest at the side of the road, looking around for relief…

Since you’ve been gone, my life has been without any peace…

I turned to Him in which you say your strength lies…

Hoping that He too will give me some solace, help this pain subside…

I’m just not like the others, I color outside the lines..

So when I go through something, I have to keep it confined…

So I stay going down this road not sure where it leads…

Hoping that I didn’t turn, in all the confusion but I must proceed…

I get many offers of help, looking deep into eyes that maybe full of deceit…

I haven’t found no man’s eye quite like yours, so back into my shell I retreat…

The only man that never let me down, to find one like you feels despairing…

Sit here and cry won’t change things, so up on my feet for more preparing…

Babies sole stability to spring broad into their adulthood arrival…

I can’t rest to long, so what my heartaches, I have to think of their survival…

I guess I stop as long as I did to let you know I miss you…

Finding strength in you, trying not to let my vision become askew…

Cause somehow dad you handle this all alone, with strength, love and grace…

Just thinking of the smile on your face, I didn’t see any worries, not a trace…

I’m not as strong as you because after 3 years and I still can’t find that place…

I just wish at the end of this long, hard race, if I stay on pace…

One of my rewards is finding comfort in your warm embrace…

Miss you Daddy!!!

Copyright © 2006 P.P. Vol 1

(orginally posted 12/11/06)


Yesterday, while I stood staring at the window, I was alone……thinking…..about him

The new year was going to bring hope…..maybe even a new love….him

When I began this journey who knew that it would deliver me here….. Confused…

The center of sorrow…..

                        The middle of pain….

                                       And The heart of my grief….

The enemy wants me to think this is so…

I came to the split second realization of the betrayal that surrounded me….

The trick of the enemy….

                                But so upset I can’t pray…

But as I remembered how my spirit fled from the violence that molested my physical shell…. Now that’s betrayal … not this…

Suspended in time, a silent witness to the events now. The greatest pain of watching tragedy

               As if…..

                          As if…

Experencie hasn’t taught me better

             Scattered dreams,

                                empty hope,

                                                    lost love

I’m NO stranger to it alll anymore

               Sorrow overcomes my calm

                                As I knowledge my wrong doings

Confusion blurs my surroundings

                                I don’t know why

                                        And He wont give me a clue

But despite how I feel I give it all to You……

                                   so I come to You in prayer…… 


Copyright © 2000


I want to stand naked before you

And not feel ashamed

Show you my faults

Show you my pain

I want to be the one to live for you

And for you I will die

When I cry

Will you make me smile?

Walk with me down the aisle

Say the wordsTo hold and to have

Expose my naked soul before you

And know that you won’t laugh

 I want to unclothe my mind

So that you can findMy imperfections

Undress the mess that I call the past

And pursue with you a new direction

Can my words be au natural?

Uncover myself before your eyes

Will my nude feelings scare you?

Will it take you by surprise?

Or perhaps though your arms

From the pain can I escape

Undraped in your arms and free

Can we both just display

Some divine nudity

Copyright © 2000

(orginally posted 12/14/06)



You finally found my worth in my absence

Blinded by all of life’s distraction

Thought my intensity was unattractive

Now knowing in your life, my essence what’s lacking


When I loved you, you never questioned

I applied love‘s duty to enhance your ambitions

Knowing my veneration of you thru all expression

But in the end, MY love’s work was insufficient


Didn’t have to be near, my love for you was secure

Distance never damn the flow, you felt my adore

In who I was to you, you’d rest assure

But I’m sorry love don’t live here anymore


True love last a lifetime, and the only love I produce

But with maturity, I learned it’s not a reason to take abuse

So on the shelf it goes to live it’s life as a recluse

Because I can’t allow love to be a crutch or an excuse


Best you can do is reach for a friendship to fall on cordiality

I hold no grudge, Pink Emerald won’t dull her brilliancy

 I thank you for your role in life’s lesson in agility

And opening a flow in me, that shines so abundantly


Peace© 2006


While he rest assured

I dreamt of you loving me, holding me

Dreamingly, how you embraced me when he would not

You consoled me, You made me feel alive

While he felt confident

I reflected on how you protected me

How you open doors for me, and held my hand

You insist I walk on the inside away from traffic

While he sat so smug in his righteousness

I remembered the last time we fought

How you realized, I was afraid, a woman with scars

And you eased my fears and made the pain go away

While he distance himself, his love

I recalled all the promises you kept, the faith you restored

You never stopped caring for me, trusting my love for you

You just never gave up on me

While he told me I was a lost cause

I was reminded how you made me feel precious

You made me feel special, loved, and beautiful

I had pride with you, and a smile more often then not

While he had his way with me

I recollected my thought on how you made love to me

How you kissed my lips, you touch me so gently

How you wanted my pleasure to know no end

While he walked away from me

I know you would have stood by me

Tried to understand me, cared to preserve our lives together

So,why am I reminiscing on a life I can still have?

© 2007





The Dangers of Closing Door to Premature

Leads to regret on decisions you entrepreneur

Your word is the only lasting entity you control

Be careful to yourself be true, don’t sellout your soul


I once suffered from that same affliction

Then realizing that regret settled replacing my convictions

Closing door, terminating relationship based on feelings

Couldn’t wait to see if tomorrow will bring healing


At times I think the extreme opposite for me has set in

Not trusting instinct that a closed door is fitting

But isn’t that the answer, if you have doubts

In your decision in burning bridges, you must be DEVOUT



Once it’s burnt repairing it might not even be an option

I find the reconstruction of thought should be adopted

Not ready to walk away, it’s time for the relationship to change

Cause I’m not wasting my life away, arguing with you every freaking day!!!

© 2007

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