random-002.jpg <—-Click here to see an angel!!! (the picture is big, so you have to double click)

I’m a foster parent of a BEAUTIFUL little girl. I wish I can show you a picture of her upclose because she will melt your heart. I brought her home from the hospital at 4 days old. She was born addicted to crack and marijuana. She went threw some withdrawal but I thank G-d soon after her birth (about 4 months) her withdrawal symptoms disappeared. She is actually advance for her age, however she is small.

I met her mother when she was days old. She had a visit at the agency. After that visit her mother went missing. She didn’t visit or contact the agency until the agency found out she was in jail on cocaine possession. Now we know where she is at, she’s sober and wants to work her case plan to get the baby back. About 2 months ago when she was missing and her family didn’t want to take the baby, I decided to adopt her. Now today she wants her back.

I thought about how I feel about that. A part of me hope she gets off drugs, change her life around and raise the baby well. A part of me is upset that I stayed up at night, comfort this child only to let her go back to a shaky situation. But I have to remind myself that most drug addicts that goes to jail promises the world while they are there. The likelihood of her coming out and getting herself together is not good. My worker asked her will she think of relinquishing her rights. She stated she will think about and wanted to know if I still had the baby. When she found out that I did and I wanted to adopt her. The social worker stated she cried but then told her she would like to talk to me. If she can raise her child she wants to know if I would let her see her and know her.

I thought alot about that also, and as a social worker I see children everyday that are estrange from their parents. No matter how “bad” they all want to know where they come from. I would allow her mother is see her and know how she was doing. She’s not a bad person, just a person that made some bad choices. I see it everyday. I wish at times that parenting courses are required before having children. How would you reinforce it? And honestly that means my own daughter would not have been born. I was a teenage mother. I give G-d all the credit for me raising my child up in a good environment. I had awesome parents, yes with an S.

Now to put on my other hat, as foster care social worker and not let my own experience cloud me but enhance my outlook on how my families are feeling with the situation of life with the child welfare system.

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3 Responses to “Bringing Work Home”

  1. savannah Says:

    Its a wonderful thing that you did for that baby. i have a sister that was giving up and ive been told it was because my mother was addicted to coke and done it through all her pregnacies. i was wondering if you had any kind of information on how drugs effect children and adults that was born addicted to drugs.

  2. pinkemeralds Says:

    Thanks for your comment Savannah…The studies are not clear when it comes to babies bring born to addicts. One study will lead you to believe that children born to addicts are mentally and physically disable. What I seem to find is because of the addiction, the mother does not have prenatal care so problems are not seen. Some drugs like meth and pills actually shown some adverse effects on infant, fetus etc (mental & physical health issues). However, crack, coke, marijuana has not shown a direct collation . Not to say this is better, it’s just to say most of the time we see children with problems due to drugs are because of lack of prenatal care, nutrition on the Mom’s part is poor, and dangerous situation (DV) can cause ill effects.

  3. Doug MacRae Says:

    While I sympathize with your situation, I must offer a rebuttal. I will agree that any kind of smoking while pregnant is going to have an adverse effect on a newborns growth, however, marijuana is not physically addicting. In your search for information on studies related to drug addicted newborns, surely you came across the information that there is no evidence to link marijuana to any kind of physical withdrawal symptoms.
    I also realize that marijuana is not the issue here, certainly drug addicted women trying to clean themselves up to properly care for their new child and themselves is the end result we’d all like to see, I just don’t like to see marijuana cast in a negative light.
    I am an activist for the decriminalization of marijuana in my fabulous Canadian country and would love to live in a world where I never have to read “…she was born addicted to crack and marijuana.”, ever again.
    thanks for your time, I wish you all the best.
    D.

    Thank you Doug. I understand your position.

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