I thought long and hard about writing on this topic. It’s very dear to my heart and is a sensitive issue. ADOPTION…

I just received the news that my baby girl is now clear from adoption. She’s been with me since she was 4 days old. When I first started fostering children I had no intention to adopt. I honestly wanted to play a part in a family recovery from having their child taken away. I went into it hoping to be able to be a “safe haven” for children adjudicated by court as neglect, abuse or dependent. My safe haven to me was temporary, until the family has resolved their issue or permanency for a child was made. However, that wasn’t the case for baby girl. It was decided that her biological parents were unable or unwilling to make a safe home for her. The judge terminated their rights. She was a “fast track” baby since the mother had a prior child taken from her.

I am still working for child welfare but I’m not in CPS anymore. I’m a foster care social worker. Between fostering children and preforming my jobs duties, it has really openned my eyes to how many children are left unadopted in our system here in the USA. I have become aware of all these overseas adoptions. It seems like a trend to me and I can figure out why. So many children need a home in OUR nation, why look anywhere else. Now I these child may die young if it wasn’t for us adopting them. OUR children is not in this great peril in comparison. Is it the answer to adopt those children? Can we possibly save them all thru this matter? No! Isn’t it a more realistic to pressure their government heads to improve their children quality of life?

Maybe we do not adopt OUR children because the system takes time. These other country wants their money and here’s your baby. We actually want to give an opportunity to the family try to reunify. Is that the problem? Maybe it is because OUR children are more likely to look for their biological families once they get to adulthood. Does that make people insecure about taking care of OUR children first? If you raise a child that had no home, will they turn their back on you once they become adult? I’m sure that can happen but is the true likelihood. Will it really compromise the morals, values, traditions you instilled in that child? Can we handle that every one wants to know their true heritage? Even the Cambodian child that so far from “home” wants to know where they come from?

For the life of me, I don’t understand why OUR children go unadopted while it seems to be a trend to adopt elsewhere. I think Angelina Jolie is a great humanitarian but when will someone be a voice for OUR children. Do you honestly think a child growing up KNOWing year after year, no one is offering permanency doesn’t effect them? Child Welfare was meant as a temporary solution to a bad problem. No one should be a ward of the state permanently. If we do not change how we care for OUR future, OUR children, we will raise motherless, fatherless children via state agencies. Since OUR children are less likely to perish due to this state, OUR children will grow up. We then have adults with attachment disorders, lack of self esteem and adverse behaviors. We have gang members, drug addicts, and adult with dysfunction relationships with others.

Now for the real eye opener!!!

As an African American, I hope the reason why people do not adopt is NOT bases on race. HOWEVER, the majority of children in care at any given time is white. YET, more black children will stay in care until they are adults, never to be adopted into a family. The white child has better than a 80% chance to be adopted than a black child for no reason other than race. Why? We will go adopt an African child before OUR own African American children. I personally have two foster families that are white adopting black children and I’m OVER JOYED!! They ask about culture, where to go if the children, who are very young wants to know about black heritage etc. I appreciate that in them. One ask me, what is ashy? LOL. I was so happy to answer her.

Okay, back to my baby girl. She can be adopted and I’m happy the court understood the faster we find permanency, the healthier this child will be emotionally, physically and socially. I have decided to adopt my baby girl. However, I can’t adopt every child but I can do this for one. One little special girl that captured my heart when she opened her eyes and saw me in the hospital at age 4 days. So, Pink is in the process of adopting a precious little girl.


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