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Alone is where I am, Alone is where I will be

Doesn’t seem like a choice, it’s more a decree

Just can’t settle for less, my love is bourgeoisie

Even greater than that as a matter of fact

But feeling this way leave such a profound impact

Alone, lonely even at times, feeling my worth is sublime

Daddy raised me to feel this way and it’s what good daddy’s do  

But why didn’t he tell me that my counterpart would not have a clue

That there’s a crystalline jewel where my thighs combine

 A intellect that is not of typical principles, a grace and beauty so divine

 So to settle is not a task I can do, as superior as I believe my spirit is

That’s one area I can’t transcend

Wrapping my mind around being treated less than a delicate rose

The notion that I’m worth less than a fine gem stone

Makes this quest for love seems perpetual and drone

I even tried hard to take the lost, but at what cost? My self image?

Why would he want me not have the aurora I envisioned?

Would you want to be with someone who thinks less?

Will it make your own self-image become distressed?

My hips are not the roundest, my lips not the fullest

Might not be super model fine, but I must persist

That I am worth every moment of your time, every touch of your kiss

Every single open door, to even checking for cracks in the floors

And yes I think I’m the cat’s meow why wouldn’t that make you proud?

Because I will not be with someone I feel deserve less than all the love I posses

My measure is no different from yours; we both deserve utter happiness

But don’t give me nothing you wouldn’t accept, Because alone is where I am

Alone is where I’ll be,  I wont settle for less

Not even for wretched loneliness….

Copyright © 2006 P.P. Vol. 1

 

(orginally posted 1/16/07)

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Last night, I had a party

A party for one, to wallow in sorrow, felt like I was coming U n do n e

I had a party, no grooming required, hair a mess and prom dress from ‘91

No longer can I fasten the back and so what if you see my bra straps

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, throwing tantrums and showing no tact

Carnation on my wrist, chiffon ruffles with dyed pay less shoes to match the lilac

I decorated my place just how I felt, everything in pitch black

Black Balloons and Black streamers with huge banner, “What a fool am I!!?

Sit here and live at this party, not out there in a world in which I can’t rely

I only need one martini glass, the olives as my appetizers, the ice my dessert

Main course the dirtier the better, before I eat praying “G-d, help me too so I

could forgive our debtors”

However not today, I’m scared, bitter, miserable, sad, hopeless, and mad

No DJ, so I just let Billie play, looping the blues, drinking my booze

At times, singing loudly on how he loved me and left me feeling soo lousy

Mascara running, lipstick smeared, what a sight to see

But you won’t see me, this party is catered, hosted, the person of honor is me

Let me cry, scream, sing, curse out loud, because tomorrow I’ve vowed to walk proud

Last night, I had a party

Copyright © 2007 

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I keep my eyes close tightly, trying hard not to lose the image of you

Last night, you left me insatiable, this erotic blue movie in my head

Please baby don’t take that wrong, you always take me to my peak

 Just can’t get enough of you, your loving, but know you keep me well feed

As I slip a finger to part the lips of my wetness, the bright pink place

I try hard not to forget how good you look, the expression you had on your face

When you first enter me, every time with your first slide, can’t help but let out a sigh of relief

But I want to rewind the events in my mind, how you snatch it like a thief

I was sound asleep, waking up to your tongue gently massaging my clit

Not letting up until I came, mouth soak with my juices, until I finally submit

Put up a good fight but no match for your grasp and I’d have it no other way

Wanted to return the favor, experience this warmth, but you said today was my day

Now my own fingers are slippery, so I add a second one to my hungry yummm

Silky texture fingers gliding needing more fiction, cause your feel is so hmmm

Thought to call you home from work for more but I remember my secret weapon

It’s no match to your kiss, your touch, your smell but it’ll do when you’re gone

As it slides in one smooth motion, I can’t help but arch my back and gasp

The muscles that surrounds it contracts, can’t help but hold it with a tight grasp

I remember your nose twitched and whispers of how much you like how that feels

Just the thought of pleasing you makes me clinch once more and it feels unreal

As I feel myself get close to that point where you love looking into my eyes

You enter the room to my surprise, at first I’m a little embarrassed that I’m found

Toy on full blast, mouth half-open, leg spread and fingers on my mound

You beg me not to stop, baby finish let me see you make it purr for me

I hesitate at first feeling funny but you look so turn on, so I agree

As I return to thoughts of you last night, lost in passion of the moment, never noticed

You approach so close for a better view, couldn’t help but call out for you

Feeling plastic slip out to be filled with real, warm, strong, black, the Wooo

I whisper in your ear, damn baby, this feeling was so long over due

We began to move and sway to a rhyme, in harmony, our own special groove

I came twice by just thinking about you, so how intense will the real thing be

I can feel you grow stronger, a wave of pleasure starts to take over me

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I feel so free

Trying to catch my breath, I feel that you too have reached your peak with me

How nice to be so in sync? You kiss my lips. You hold me so tight.

Not wanting to break free but we do, now we have something to look forward to tonight.

Copyright © 2006

(orginally posted 12/12/06)

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At a young age, I was drawn to her voice

Didn’t seem like I had a choice

A kindred spirit, descendants of grief

All those songs, she sang just for our relief

Voice not quite on pitch, timing not always on beat

But with every word I experience a safe retreat

She helps me cry when I can’t quite feel

She doesn’t judge the way I choose to deal

As a youth, didn’t know the story of Lady Day

Only knew, to gloom ,she fell prey

With age, I discover that her life was full of discord

No wonder our spirits are on one accord

She told me when I love, do it “All the Way”

No longer estrange when I feel lonely on “A Foggy Day”

“Strange Fruit”, a vivid example of what our ancestors’ endured

And we feel the same about love, “Everything I Have is Yours”

Wow, “Good Morning Heartache” and “Stormy Blues”

To know someone else has abuse as their muse

And who wouldn’t want to see “April in Paris”

“Comes Love” might as well live life and be careless

Billie blows me away, from her individuality to her eyes a gazed

Can’t help but want to heed more from this Lady Demure

Hear the voice start to slur from pessimism’s connoisseur

© 2007

 

(orginally posted 3/6/07)

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At times I look in the mirror and get turn on

I know it’s sound pure narcissistic

But it’s something about a woman’s physical form

I love the roundness of her titties

Something about a warm wet kitty

For some time now I knew I was drawn to it

Yearning to give her a good lick

Yet, I still love the thrust of a mighty sword

I’m dead wrong is what I hear

Can’t help it, I like my counterparts hard

But the softness from my peers

Copyright © 2000

 

(orginally posted 3/5/06)

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Sold sight unseen, who would travel loves journey down this path

A photo, a cam but so regretful that I have to ask, do your eyes close when u laugh?

You got me hook and my eyes don’t have a clue what to look for

 Dramatic expressions of fears that my feelings of love won’t experience more.

The more of you, the more of us, five senses deprived

It’s bigger than sight or not being able to look into your eyes

The anticipation of just a touch from your finger tips

It’s hearing you moan in my ear when I engulf you with a tight grip

The smell that will filtrate the air when our bodies entwine

How long can I fantasize all these wonderful feeling in my mind

Imagining taste of your kiss, I have such a hunger that only you can fulfilled

Patience has never been my virtue, be mines completely only time will reveal

I ache for an aroma so unfamiliar, a sensation never felt

Whispered words of warm moist pants as our bodies melt

What would you say? What would I see? My eyes are strangers to yours

Can you handle my intense stare? All these things I can’t wait to explore

Drinking from the kiss from either authority I know will be so sweet

You say you don’t care for the lower kisses, but maybe you’ll like how I feast

Day dreams, fantasy and what could be fuel that keeps me feeling like a feen

Because III, You got me sold sight unseen.

Copyright © 2006

 

Orginally posted 12/14/06

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If I can just gain strength…but I’m so tired…

Yearning for masculine muscular arms in which to retire…

Stopping to rest at the side of the road, looking around for relief…

Since you’ve been gone, my life has been without any peace…

I turned to Him in which you say your strength lies…

Hoping that He too will give me some solace, help this pain subside…

I’m just not like the others, I color outside the lines..

So when I go through something, I have to keep it confined…

So I stay going down this road not sure where it leads…

Hoping that I didn’t turn, in all the confusion but I must proceed…

I get many offers of help, looking deep into eyes that maybe full of deceit…

I haven’t found no man’s eye quite like yours, so back into my shell I retreat…

The only man that never let me down, to find one like you feels despairing…

Sit here and cry won’t change things, so up on my feet for more preparing…

Babies sole stability to spring broad into their adulthood arrival…

I can’t rest to long, so what my heartaches, I have to think of their survival…

I guess I stop as long as I did to let you know I miss you…

Finding strength in you, trying not to let my vision become askew…

Cause somehow dad you handle this all alone, with strength, love and grace…

Just thinking of the smile on your face, I didn’t see any worries, not a trace…

I’m not as strong as you because after 3 years and I still can’t find that place…

I just wish at the end of this long, hard race, if I stay on pace…

One of my rewards is finding comfort in your warm embrace…

Miss you Daddy!!!

Copyright © 2006 P.P. Vol 1

(orginally posted 12/11/06)